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3/12/07 2:20pm - Original Message: 'Testimonials'
greypoupon69 Lifetime Member
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Irving, TX - USA

Vette(s):
#1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks. #2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.

Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
 
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great! 

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....


FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word ... he knew better. 


SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. 
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. 
He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls" 


THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. 
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. 
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.


FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. 
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? 
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." 
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants a nd sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weather man and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


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3/13/07 12:24pm - Reply: 'Testimonials'
dwright Gold Member
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Victor, NY - USA

Vette(s):
2004 Commemorative Edition Coupe, Auto w/HUD. 13K miles in 2015. Sold 1982 Red Coupe

Joined: 7/12/2004
Posts: 6756

Couldn't help but notice, they were all women. Is that why this is in the Ladies Room?LOL



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3/13/07 3:22pm - Reply: 'Testimonials'
kkfinch Lifetime Member
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Gresham, OR - USA

Vette(s):
1977 Maroon T-Top

Joined: 9/4/2006
Posts: 652
Those are great!  I've had some doozies myself...just can't remember 'em.  Hubby probably will.....


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Karen
*************
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.
So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
                 Explore. Dream. Discover.

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3/13/07 7:33pm - Reply: 'Testimonials'
greypoupon69 Lifetime Member
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Irving, TX - USA

Vette(s):
#1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks. #2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.

Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
[QUOTE=dwright]

Couldn't help but notice, they were all women. Is that why this is in the Ladies Room?LOL

[/QUOTE]
 
OF COURSE! Big%20smile


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MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113

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3/13/07 10:35pm - Reply: 'Testimonials'
ranger3 Lifetime Member
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North Charleston, SC - USA

Vette(s):
1975 L48 AT AC T-top

Joined: 3/20/2004
Posts: 4176
Thanks Micki,
We can always depend on you for a good laughCry
Scott


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3/28/07 6:44pm - Reply: 'Testimonials'
69BBConv Lifetime Member
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Cincinnati, OH - USA

Vette(s):
1969 convertible 427/390 5 speed triple black with L-88 hood; 2013 Grand Sport Coupe, manual, Night Race Blue

Joined: 12/17/2003
Posts: 64
Thanks for a good laugh!!!

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Mark


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3/28/07 6:56pm - Reply: 'Testimonials'
greypoupon69 Lifetime Member
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Irving, TX - USA

Vette(s):
#1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks. #2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.

Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
[QUOTE=69BBConv] Thanks for a good laugh!!![/QUOTE]
 
Hey, your welcome............good to see a new member posting!! Wink


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MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113

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3/29/07 12:17pm - Reply: 'Testimonials'
dwright Gold Member
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Victor, NY - USA

Vette(s):
2004 Commemorative Edition Coupe, Auto w/HUD. 13K miles in 2015. Sold 1982 Red Coupe

Joined: 7/12/2004
Posts: 6756
Mick,
Congratulations.
You got 69BBConv to finally post a reply. It only took him 3.25 years!!!
 
Now that you broke the ice 69BBConv, feel free to post again soon.


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3/29/07 7:47pm - Reply: 'Testimonials'
lukesvette Lifetime Member
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HOWELL, NJ - USA

Vette(s):
1979, Targa Blue (72 Color), Pace Car rear spoiler, L88 hood, Dark blue factory interior, 525HP 406, HD 700R4, 370 gears,Steeroids, composite rear spring, TT IIs wrapped in T/A Radials.

Joined: 5/18/2004
Posts: 6804
Rolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing I WORKED AT THE CANDY COUNTER AS A KID Rolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing

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3/30/07 9:34pm - Reply: 'Testimonials'
69BBConv Lifetime Member
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Cincinnati, OH - USA

Vette(s):
1969 convertible 427/390 5 speed triple black with L-88 hood; 2013 Grand Sport Coupe, manual, Night Race Blue

Joined: 12/17/2003
Posts: 64
Thanks for noticing my long-term silence.  I guess some of us are a little slow. 
 
Although I bought the '69 more than 6 years ago, too many late nights at work and too much travel has meant the car hasn't gotten driven or worked on.  About a month ago I was finally able to start giving the car some attention so that I can enjoy it this summer.
 
If I could figure out how to add a picture to my signature, I could show it to you.


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Mark


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