A young lady buys a cherry '67 Vette, and is thrilled as she drives around the neighborhood receiving "Oooh"s and "Ahhhhhs" along with many many waves. Then one day she notices a crack beginning at the wheel arch and travelling up the fender.

Frantic, she goes to the local body shop and begs the guy to repair the crack in her beautiful Corvette.

The guy claims he can't get to it now, but will drill a small hole in the 'glass to keep the crack from spreading further.

As she observes him performing this procedure, she thinks... "Oh !! So THAT's what my bellybutton is for!"


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There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that a Corvette Z06 was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Chevy dealer and says he wants to buy a Z06, but he wants custom emblems reading "S06" instead of Z06.

The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"

The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."

Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted and badged for a small fee.

The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"


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Three men met at a party, and it wasn't long until the conversation got around to their line of work and what kind of cars they drove.

"I'm a veterinarian," said the first fellow, "so, naturally, I drive a white Vette."

As they smiled and nodded, the second man said, "I own a sign company, so I drive a purple Neon."

Now the third guy was suddenly quiet until he was egged on by the other two.

"Well", he finally said, "I'm a proctologist.. .... and I have a brown Probe."


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Little Johnny and two of his friends were sitting on a front porch one day after school. Billy looked down the street and saw a bright red Corvette. "Some day I'm gonna be a lawyer so I can buy me one of those Corvettes," he said.

Robbie looked over at the driveway next to the Corvette and saw a brand new Ferrari. "I'm gonna be a doctor," he said, "so I can get me a fast Ferrari."

Little Johnny looked over at the other two and said, "I'm gonna learn how to suck d*ck when I grow up." The other two boys looked at each other in disbelief, not believing what they'd heard.

Little Johnny continued, "That's what my sister does, and she owns both of those cars."


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A man goes out and buys a new Vette convertible. One night he takes it out for a spin, and stops at a red light. An old man pulls up next to him riding a mo-ped. The old man looks over the Vette and says, "What kind of car ya got there sonny?" The man replies, "It's a 2001 Corvette, the best sports car in the USA; it cost me over $50,000."

"That's a lot of money" says the old man. Why do they cost so much?" The man answers, "Because they can go 170 miles an hour!" The old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his mo-ped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car all right!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what the car can do. He floors it, and in a few seconds the speedo reads 120 MPH. Suddenly he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that seems to be catching up to him. Afraid it might be a cop, he slows down to 65 and suddenly whhhoooosshh! Something whips by him going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than this Vette?" the man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming towards him. Whhoooosshh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it sorta looked like the old man on the mo-ped!

"Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a mo-ped outrun a Vette?"

Then again he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whhooosshh - Blam! It plows into the back of the Vette! The man jumps out. It IS the old man! Of course, the mo-ped and the old man are in a world of hurt. The guy runs up to the old man and cries, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man groans and replies, "Yes, could you please unhook my suspenders from your side mirror?"

There's this drunk staggering down the street with his car keys in his hand.

He keeps staggering from one parked car to another until he is finally detained by a policeman ...

Policeman: "What's the problem, buddy?"
DRUNK: "Someone stole my Corvette! (hic)"

Policeman: "Where did you last see it?"
DRUNK: "It was right here on the end of my car key ..."

Policeman: "Uh huh. Did you happen to notice your fly is open?"
DRUNK: (Looking down at his fly) "Omigod occifer! Someone stole my girlfriend, too!"