A few goodones

Posted: 8/26/07 12:07pm Message 1 of 4

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DaveM

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Flanders, NJ - USA

Joined: 1/27/2004

Posts: 2553

Vette(s): 1982 Black, ZZ4, Hooker Side Pipes, 3.55 Rear, Rebuilt & upgraded 700R4, All new suspension, brakes, & new Charcoal interior.

A soldier ran up to a nun.
Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt.
I'll explain later."
The nun agreed.
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you
seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,
"I can't thank you enough Sister.
You see, I don't want to go to Iraq ."
The nun said, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied,
"If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair
of balls. I don't want to go to Iraq either"

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Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my

wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a

coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't

find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you

find her. What does she look like?"

The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old! ,

tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.

What does you wife look like?"

To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter,

--- let's go look for your's.

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I want to live my next life backwards!

You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat.

Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy, you spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.

When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you're too young to work.

So then, you go to high school: play sports,date,drink, and party.

As you get even younger, you become a kid again.

You go to elementary school, play, and have no responsibilities.

In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy.

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap.

Until finally...You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

.............................................................................................................................................................

Can you solve this riddle?

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

For the answer, click and drag your mouse across the star.

*Get your stupid ass off the merry go round!