A true story:

This story is from one of the "lucky" passengers on board a Northwest

Airlines flight to Boston during Hurricane "Bob".  The captain did his

best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a pretty rough ride just

the same--rough enough that the flight attendants were ordered to strap

themselves into their seats for about half an hour, and many of the

passengers were putting the little plastic-lined bags in their seat

pockets to good use.

When the turbulence finally abated, the flight attendants unbuckled

themselves, and the captain's voice came on the intercom. "Well, folks,

that was quite some ride, wasn't it"  But we came through it fine, just

the way we always do, and I'm happy to report that it looks like the

remainder of our trip should be much calmer.  On behalf of myself and

today's flight crew, I'd like to thank you very much for your calmness

and cooperation, and extend our best wishes for a pleasant stay in

Boston.

After a short pause and several clicks

"Holy sh!t--what a bitchin' ride!  Boy--I sure could use a cup of good

strong coffee and a blow job right about now."  As a stricken stewardess

dashed up the aisle to the cabin (to inform the captain that his

intercom was still on), one of the passengers called after her, "Don't

forget the coffee!"