This man goes up to this woman in a local VFW bar and says, "I'm gonna make your nipples hard."  
She says, "Oh yeah?  My husband will kick your ass."
The guy says, "And then I'm gonna turn you upside down, pour beer in your pussy and guzzle it all down."
She says, "That's it. I'm gonna tell my husband and he's gonna kick your ass."  She turned and stormed out the door. When she gets home, she goes to her husband and says, "This dick at the VFW told me he was gonna make my nipples hard."
The husband gets really pissed off and heads out the door for the VFW.
She grabs him by the arm and says, "He also said that he was gonna turn me upside down, pour beer in my pussy and then guzzle it all down."
Upon hearing this, her husband turns around and walks back into the house.
"What the hell are you doing?" she asks him.
He replies, "I ain't messin' with anybody who can drink that much beer!"