Captain Smithers

In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.  After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decreed, the retiring colonel said, “You must meet Captain Smithers, my right-hand man.  God, he’s really the strength of this office.  His talent is simply boundless.”

 

Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three foot tall.  “Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself,” the colonel said.

 

“Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines,” Smithers said.  “I’ve represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the Olympics.  I have researched the history of...”

 

“Yes, yes, never mind that, Smithers,” the colonel interrupted.  “The CO can find all that in your file.  Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to get fu*ked.”

Larry, you seemed to have misspelled one word near the ending.......I wonder what in the world that word was supposed to be??? On another note: ebo had the same thing happen to him. He used to be 6 foot, 6 inches tall!