Concealed Carry

April 22, 2014--A 19-year-old Tennessee woman had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina when she was brought into jail yesterday afternoon following a collar for driving with a suspended license, police report.  As Dallas Archer was being booked into the Kingsport jail, a female corrections officer alerted colleagues to an “unknown object” in the teenager’s crotch during a search.

The jailer and a female cop then accompanied Archer to a bathroom for further examination, a review that led to the recovery of a “North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded) which Ms. Dallas had concealed in her vagina,” according to a Kingsport Police Department report.  News of the weapon in Archer’s vagina was first reported by the Kingsport Times-News.

A subsequent check revealed that the five-shot mini-revolver--which is four inches in length

Souther said that the gun was taken from his 1994 Mustang, which was “ransacked” last year while parked in his Kingsport carport.  When told where the gun had been stashed, Souther said, “Oh, gosh.”  He noted that he would eventually like “the little fellow” returned, but added that the weapon would require “a bath in bleach.”  Archer was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a penal facility.

The incident quickly went on-line at the following link: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/loaded-gun-hidden-in-vagina-576432

It went viral, and occasioned the following posted one-liners:

1.      I thought it was her gun.  Turns out it was snatched!

2.      Gives new meaning to a gun having a “hair trigger.”

3.      Happiness is a warm gun.

4.      At four inches in length, it comes off as half-cocked.

5.      “For sale AA22LR never used; still in the box.”

6.      Report reads, “...Introducing contraband into a penal facility.” Shouldn’t that be ‘penile’ facility?

7.      If it went off, could you call it her “boom box?”

8.      Remember--Every vagina is to be treated as if it is loaded.  Always keep it pointed in a safe direction.

9.     They say it was a gun, but something smells fishy.

10.  You can have my gun when you can pry it from my cold, stinking...

11.  Oh my... accident waiting to happen.  Could “shoot the beaver.”

12.  I have heard of shooting your mouth off, but this takes on a “hole” new meaning.

13.  Complete reversal on Mae West’s classic line, “Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”

14.  I wonder if she had “gun-areah?”

15.  Gives a whole new meaning to “Vaginal Discharge.”

16.  Do you suppose she had a rectal reloader?

17.  A gun in the hand is worth two in the bush?

I like to see her do a fast draw............