Dear Grandma

My grandmother died in the 50s, but her birthday is coming up, and that

always causes me to reminisce. The long walks we used to take to the store

in town, the quarters she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds

or washing the sidewalk...

Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in

the crown of grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 13.

We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda

bottles for the deposit money on a beautiful spring day.

She told me that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my

own family. 'And always remember this thing,' she said. 'Be sure you marry

a woman with small hands.'

'How come, Grandma?' I asked her.

She answered in her soft Newfoundland voice.

'Makes your dick look bigger.' 

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Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it ?