Gatorasslin’

A rich Florida man threw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.  He even invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. 

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.  Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.  At the height of the party, the host said, “I have a ten-foot, man-eating gator in my pool, and I’ll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.”

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash.  Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool.  Leroy was fighting the gator.  He was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.  The water was churning and splashing everywhere.  Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell.  Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.  Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.  Everybody just stared at him in disbelief.

Finally the host said, “Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.” 

“No, that’s okay,” Leroy said.  “I don’t want it.”

The rich man said, “Man, I have to give you something.  You won the bet.  How about half a million bucks then?”

“No thanks,” Leroy repeated.  “I don’t want it.” 

“Come on,” the host said.  “I insist on giving you something.  That was amazing.  How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?” 

Again Leroy said no. 

Confused, the rich man asked, “Well, Leroy, then what do you want?”