Golf with a Hit Man

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, “Do you mind if I join you?  My partner didn’t turn up.”

“Sure,” they said, “you’re welcome.”  So they started playing.  It turned out they enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a hit man,” the man replied.

“You’re joking!” the friend said.

“No, I’m not,” he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper’s rifle with a large telescopic sight.  “Here’s a tool of my trade.”

“That’s a beautiful telescopic sight,” said the other friend.  “Can I take a look?  I think I might be able to see my house from here.”

He picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.  “Yeah, I can see my house all right.  This sight is fantastic.  I can see right in the window.  Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom--naked!  Wait a minute; that’s my neighbor in there with her, lifting her onto the bed.  The bitch!”

He turned to the hit man, “How much do you charge for a hit?”

“Ten thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.”

“Can you do two for me now?”

“How do you want it?”

“First shoot my wife.  She’s always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.  Then the neighbor.  He’s kind of okay.  Just shoot his tool off to teach him a lesson.”

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.  “Are you going to do it or not?” said the friend impatiently.

“Hang on a minute; be patient,” said the hit man calmly.  “I think I can save you ten thousand dollars here.”