I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they
understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, 

'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money
to the church, would that get me into heaven?'

'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything
tidy, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, the answer was 'NO!'

By now I was starting to smile. 'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and
gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me
into heaven?

Again, they all answered 'NO!'.

I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, ' Then how can I get
into heaven?'

A six year-old boy shouted out: "YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD...."

It's a curious race, the Irish. 

Good one, Larry!!