Phil gets home late one night and, Kitty, his wife

says, 'Where in the hell have you been?'

Phil replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo.'

'A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get?'

'I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,' he said proudly.

'What the hell were you thinking?' she said, shaking her head in disgust.

'Why on earth would a retired person get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?'

'Well, I did it for 4 reasons.

One, I like to watch my money grow.

Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

Three, I like how money feels in my hand.

And, Four, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow

a hundred bucks anytime you want.'

Phil is recovering in room 233 at the local hospital.