Little Johnny asked Mom what 2 words mean that kids at school were using ... P ussy and B itch.

 

Mom inhaled sharply, but then said: "Oh, that's easy. A p ussy is a cat, like our little Chico. A b itch is a female dog, like our Sandy .”

 

"Thanks, Mom...”

 

He then found his Dad out in the garage. "Dad, the guys at school are using words I don't understand."

 

"What words, son?"

 

"P ussy and b  itch. I asked Mom, but I don't think she told me the right meanings."

 

Dad said: "Son, never ask your mother about these things, ask me instead. Let me explain it like this."

 

He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centerfold, drew a circle around the pubic area and said: "Son, everything inside the circle is p ussy."

 

"Okay, Dad. Then what's a b itch?"

 

Dad replied: "Everything outside the circle."

"Johnny", said his dad, "You don't go around hurting things.  For that, you won't get an butter for a whole month!"

A little further on, Johnny spotted a honey bee.  Again...STOMP!  As before, his dad was furious with him.  "Johnny...now you won't get any honey for a month!  We're going home now...dinner should be ready."

So, Johnny and his dad walked home from the park.  As they got home and Johnny's mom was setting the table for dinner, a corkroach was scurrying across the floor of the kitchen.  Just as Johnny and his dad walked in, his mom saw the corkroach and STOMP!  She crushed it.

With a look of complete vindication, Johnny looked up at his dad and said....

"Shall you tell her dad, or should I?"

Johnny looked up at his dad and asked, "Dad, what are those two dogs doing?"

Johnny's dad, not wanting to be deceptive, simply said "They're making a puppy, Johnny."

"Oh...OK", said Johnny, his curiosity apparently satisfied, and they continued for the rest of their walk before heading home.

That night, Little Johnny woke up hearing noise from his parent's bedroom.  He walked in on them to see them engaged in sex.

"What are you and mommy doing?" asked Johnny.

Again, not wanting to be deceptive, Johnny's dad said, "Your mommy and I are making you a little brother or sister!"

With a still curious look on his face, Johnny tried to digest what he saw, and finally said...

"Turn her over...I'd rather have a puppy!"

 

Barry