Mayday at 18,000 Feet

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communications with a small twin engine aircraft.  A moment later, the tower landline rang and one of the employees answered it.  “Mayday, Mayday!” the caller said.  “I’m a passenger riding in this Beech King Air.  I’m calling on my cell phone and 9-1-1 patched me through to you.  The pilot’s dead--heart attack or something.  I am in the right hand seat now, flying upside down at 18,000 feet and travelling at 180 knots.”

 

“Calm down,” the Air Traffic Controller said.  “We have you on our scope and we will guide you down after a few questions.  First, how do you know you are travelling at 18,000 feet?”

 

“I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the altimeter in front of me.” The guy said.

 

“Okay,” the ATC said, “that is good.  Remain calm.  How do you know you are travelling at 180 knots?”

 

“I can see that it reads 180 knots on the air speed indicator in front of me.”

 

“Okay,” the ATC said, “that is good.  How do you know you’re flying upside down?”

 

“Because the shit in my pants is sliding out of my collar.” 

Larry.............you're killing me today. My brother was a controller...........the stories that he can tell would knock your socks off. He won't fly anywhere at all