A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been 

having. All these years? Well, they're gone.''No more headaches?' the husband 

asks, 'What happened?'His wife replies, 'Marge referred me to a hypnotist & he 

told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat ,I do not have 

a headache.I do not have a headache.I do not have a headache.Well, it worked! 

The headaches are all gone.''Well, that is wonderful!' proclaims the husband.His 

wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the 

bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he 

can do anything for that?'Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it.Following 

his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his 

wife, and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't 

move, I'll be right back.'He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes 

later, jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never 

before.His wife says, 'WOW! That was wonderful!'The husband says, 'Don't move! I 

will be right back.'He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was 

even better than the first time.The wife sits up and her head is spinning. 'OH 

MY GOD!' She proclaims.Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right 

back.'With that, he goes back in the bathroom.This time, his wife quietly 

follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and 

saying.'She's not my wife.''She's not my wife.''She's not my wife.''She's not my 

wife.'His funeral service will be held on Saturday.