Topic: NUTS
in Forum: Anything Goes
Nuts
A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he
notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he has ever seen. The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise and asks, "Ess-tues me, sir?"
"Yes?" replies the clerk. "Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?"
"Pistachio's? They're six dollars a pound."
"SSit!" The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing and then asks,
"Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?"
"Almonds?
They're seven fifty a pound."
"SSIT!
tas' pensive," replies the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout
your pikanns?"
"Pecans?
They're on sale today, they're only four fifty a pound."
"Welp,
Ssit. Just div me a pound of dose
dhen."
"All
right then," says the clerk as he begins bagging up a pound of
pecans.
Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Tirr, I just wanna tay
tank you for not making fun of de
way I talk, tauz I tan't hep it."
The clerk replies with a smile. "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I don't make fun of
anybody.
I don't know if you noticed but I have a rather large nose."
The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your dick since your nuts are so high."


