FunFest:

I’m bangin’ on it and bangin’ on it…

I can’t deal with this logic crap

Can’t get ‘em up, can’t get ‘em down

I’m trying to get him to jerk me

Are you having trouble getting it up Bob?

Did it ever fall out?

I stuck a quarter down his pants

Just squeeze it

Is there another one, or is that it?

Just hang on to it and when I want it, I’ll snap my fingers

Scratch me – no, go down

Give a guy a flute and he’ll play with it

October Gathering:

We need an ambulance

You should have said you wanted a Dick bowl

I had it in my mouth – at least I didn’t bite down

I can get it up

I want to go get my cup

2-parter  “What’s that coming out of your pant leg?”  “Don’t worry – it’s not much”

I thought medallions meant nuts

I had four fingers under the table and a thumb on top

It’s not as big as Marshall’s

Go ahead Dick, you’ve got 69

The gun is loaded

Okay, do I get to hold it?

Everybody needs to have a tee chain

We’ve got two queens

You put your head in and you shake it all about

Set that in your sink and water it

You need to water your flower

I’m not going outside to watch the sunset come up

There was definitely some leakage coming out

I thought he was busy with Larry

You didn’t wear your pajamas for Larry?

He’ll come bangin’ on our door again

How about Big Bone Lick?

No because you’ve got dangling parts – and I don’t think you get proper rest that way

Did you see the deer jump out of the car?

I can’t see it, so I have to feel it and guess what it looks like

People are getting off already

I’m going topless!  You going topless?

He’s going to grab your what?

You just grab your top and pull up on it – that’a girl!

What is that big wad in your pants?

Where’s your pad?

2-parter “Was Marilyn Monroe left handed?”  “She was both handed”

Is Clint your son?

He’s rubbing it on my arm

I knew he was gonna go down then

I put the wrong end in my mouth

You ain’t getting out of here till you fart, buddy

It fell Dean – oops, you probably don’t want to hear that again today

I can make it sloppy

Fat tissue and muscle made for the nourishment of young children

And my favorite of the weekend – this was taken verbatim (I couldn’t make this up if I tried):

I threw my panties on the table and said ‘We’re leaving!’  Of course, I pulled my pants up first