Quite an Aunt!!!

 The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: Get their
 parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next
 day, the kids came back and one by one
 began to tell their stories.
  
 'Tony, do you have a story to share?'
  
 'Yes, ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a
 pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out
 over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a
 pistol and a survival knife. She quickly drank the whiskey on the
 way down, knowing it would shatter and go to waste otherwise, and just
 then her parachute opened and she landed right in the middle of 20
 enemy troops. She shot 15 of them until she ran out of bullets,
 killed four more with the knife till the blade broke, and then she
 killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.'

'Good heavens!' said the horrified teacher.  'What kind of moral did
 your daddy draw from this awful story?'

 'Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking!'