HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES!!

      Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

      Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

      The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

      Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money.

      Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues  This is definitely a win- win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

      Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

      Sincerely,

      Bill Clinton

      Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

      Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

 [/QUOTE]

I'd be all over that.  Oh, I mean, I could really get into that.  Umm, I mean . . . 

Oh hell, just as long as they didn't F*** with pilot pay.

THE EVOLUTION OF A FLIGHT ATTENDANT IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR ONE MONTH
She blushes at dirty jokes
She wants to marry a captain
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her intelligent
She reads 'What Every Girl Should Know'
She thinks all men are nice
She wears her wings with pride

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR SIX MONTHS
She smiles at dirty jokes
She wants to marry a second officer
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her fairly intelligent
She reads 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'
She thinks some men are nice
She wears her wings happily

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR ONE YEAR
She laughs at dirty jokes
She wants to marry a ramp agent
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her intelligent enough
She reads 'The Art of Love'
She hopes some men are nice
She wears her wings doubtfully

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR THREE YEARS
She tells dirty jokes
She wants to marry a man
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her a little intelligence
She reads 'How to Live Alone and Like It'
She knows all men are not nice
She still wears her wings

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR FIVE YEARS
She invents dirty jokes
She wants to marry
She would rather not have to think
She reads 'To Have and to Hold'
She would rather wear a ring

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR TEN YEARS
She is the girl in the dirty jokes
She wants to marry, "but after all, is it really necessary?"
She can't think
She reads 'Fact is Better Than Fiction'
She is glad all men are not nice
She wears a mink