It was mealtime during  an airline flight.  'Would you like dinner?'  the 
flight attendant asked John, seated in front.  'What are my choices?'  John 
asked.  'Yes or no,' she  replied.



 SMART  ANSWER #5

 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. 
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his 
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need 
to see your ticket, not your stub.'



 SMART ANSWER #4

 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but 
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do 
these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're 
dead.'



 SMART  ANSWER #3

 The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for 
speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the 
officer said. The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' 
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a 
ticket.



 SMART  ANSWER #2

 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that 
read:  Low Bridge  Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of 
him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. 
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the 
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The 
truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'



 SMARTEST  ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008 !!

 A college teacher reminds her class of

tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, 
I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might 
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death 
in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A 
smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What 
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter 
sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering 
When silence was restored,the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, 
shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam 
with your other hand.'



 A BONUS EXTRA
 A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy 
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, 
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband 
replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect

 A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy 
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, 
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband 
replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect