TALKING CLOCK 
 
After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new
apartment to a couple of his friends.  He led the way to his bedroom
where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
'What's that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked.
       
'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the  drunk replied..   
   
'A talking clock?  Seriously?' asked his astonished20friend. 

'Yup,' replied the drunk.
       
'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.
 
'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an
ear-shattering pound and stepped back.    .
 

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, 'You icehole!
It's three-fift een in the morning!'

Good one............works like "clock-work"