Pocket Taser Stun Gun: A great gift for the wife!! A guy who purchased his 
lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my 
interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a 
little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, 
pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be 
short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing 
her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two 
triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was 
disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed 
it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of 
electricity darting back and forth between the prongs...AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the 
face of her microwave.........

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it 
couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?!! There 
I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little 
soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed 
to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) 
and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to 
give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want 
some assurance that it would work as advertised.  Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses 
perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and 
taser in another.  The directions said that a one-second burst would shock 
and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause 
muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst 
would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out 
of water.  Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
 

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, 
less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with 
two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...