George was driving the interstate going along at a good clip.  His wife sat in the passenger seat beside him, occupied with her knitting.  A state trooper pulled him over.

“Sir, I clocked you at 20 miles an hour above the speed limit.”

“That can’t be, officer,” George replied.  “I set the cruise control at 60.  Your radar gun must be mis-calibrated.”

“Now, George,” said his wife, “you know we don’t have cruise control on this car.”

As the trooper pulled out his ticket book and started writing the citation, George turned toward his wife and stared daggers at her.

“Well,” she huffed. “thank God your radar detector went off when it did.  You could have been going a lot faster.”

George’s face turned purple.  With great restraint, he muttered out the side of his mouth, “Good God, Martha.  Just let me handle this, will you?” Martha’s knitting needles kept clicking away.

As the trooper flipped his ticket book to a fresh page, he said, “Sir, I’m sure you’re aware that radar detectors are illegal in this state.”

As he handed George the two tickets, the trooper remarked, “Sir, I notice that you aren’t wearing your seat belt.  In this state, that’s an automatic $75 fine.”

“Oh, officer,” protested George, “it was securely fastened until I had to unlatch it to reach my wallet in my back pocket to get my driver’s license.”

“Now, George,” his wife said, “you know you didn’t have your seat belt on.”  Turning to the trooper, she added, “I’m forever getting on his case about that.”

As the trooper pulled out his ticket book again, George exploded.  “Goddammit, woman, can’t you just shut the fuck up?”

“Wow,” said the trooper.  Turning to the wife, he asked, “Is he always this abusive?”