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Topic: Wal*Mart Special

in Forum: Anything Goes


Wal*Mart Special

Posted: 2/14/08 9:02pm Message 1 of 5
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Irving, TX - USA
Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
Vette(s): #1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks. #2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess
I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,"
Mike replies.  "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.  Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what 's wrong and what to do about it.   It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars....... A lot cheaper than a doctor."
 
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
 
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up
and asks for the urine sample.  He pours the sample
into the slot and waits.  Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

 "You have tennis elbow.  Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.  It will improve in two weeks.  Thank you for s hopping @ Wal-Mart."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new
technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
 
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the
 results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
 concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
(Aisle 9)
 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into
 rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.
 Get a lawyer.
 5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your
 elbow will never get better!

 Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart



�����
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MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113

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Wal*Mart Special

Posted: 2/15/08 10:15am Message 2 of 5
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Victor, NY - USA
Joined: 7/12/2004
Posts: 6841
Vette(s): 2004 Commemorative Edition Coupe, Auto w/HUD. 13K miles in 2015. Sold 1982 Red Coupe
Amazing. And to think their headquarters are in Arkansas.Rolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing


 
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Wal*Mart Special

Posted: 2/15/08 5:02pm Message 3 of 5
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Joined: 3/9/2006
Posts: 2168
   Good one Micki!


Wal*Mart Special

Posted: 2/19/08 1:44am Message 4 of 5
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Warner Robins, GA - USA
Joined: 2/16/2003
Posts: 244
Vette(s): 1978 Base model, White w/red int. L-48, 4-speed, wide ratio. Has 82 CE wheels. New HEI & LT1 Headers now. UPDATE, NEW Tremic 5-SPEED installed. 2007 C6 Yellow Conv. Loaded. UPDATE-Sold Sept. 2021 2016 C7 Yellow Coupe, Z-51, lots of other options.
 Thanks Micki, I laughed so hard I cried, I needed that.
 
    Chuck



Wal*Mart Special

Posted: 2/24/08 9:33am Message 5 of 5
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Gresham, OR - USA
Joined: 2/10/2007
Posts: 185
Vette(s): 1977 Maroon T-Top
[QUOTE=dwright]Amazing. And to think their headquarters are in Arkansas.Rolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing[/QUOTE]

Sounds like a day-drive destination in April.





Attitude - The difference between ordeal and adventure.

in Forum: Anything Goes


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