Topic: Why women should think before they speak !!!
in Forum: Anything Goes
Why women should think before they speak !!!
There are
six reasons why you should think before you speak -the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words
back...
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked
loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store
comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was
approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said:
'I think I like playing with men's balls'
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of
candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically... the boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after
receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her
that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To
my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee
last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing. I mustered
up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in
tow. The last thing I heard when the
door closed behind me, were screams of
laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question
too many times?
My three-year-old son
had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day
we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy,
with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so
of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not
asked to go potty in a
while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'... I kept thinking 'Oh
Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'
Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting
worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
'Danny are you sure you haven’t had an accident?
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread
his cheeks and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking
me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST
TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had
a
female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and
didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we all say things
we don't really mean, so think before you speak!!!
"Good friends are like stars… you don't always see them, but you know
they are always there.”


Yeah, I know, Shut up Dave.
