Okay, boys and girls—time to play the exciting new game, “Stump Uncle Joel”!

And gang, here’s how it’s played: a leading source of expert information on Chevrolet products has recently issued a series of handy, helpful hints all about how to improve a TH350 transmission. Yes, that same set of gears and lube and other esoteric stuff you may have right this minute in your very own automobile!

And since Uncle Joel is an expert his own true self on just that very bad boy tranny, we’re going to test his TH350 knowledge—yes, right here in prime C3VR forum time! Let’s see if Uncle Joel can correctly answer a series of questions, drawn from this source!

And the best part is—you get to play along at home too! But be careful—there just might be some ‘trick questions’ thrown at you along the way!

Ready to play? OK! Here we go:

Question: What years did Chevrolet offer the TH350?

Answer: A) 1939 to 1993; B) 1957 to 1987; C) 1969 till the mid-80’s; D) 1968 till the early Nineties.

Question: Full-throttle upshifts are limited to a certain RPM by a governor (no, not Arnold Schwarzenegger, but that was a good guess!). Installing different springs can change the shift points.

Answer: A) True; B) False; C) Not In California on pollution-controlled vehicles; D) Only in Texas on any dang vehicle we want to.

Question: Texas is too bigger than Alaska, because glaciers are only frozen water and not real dirt, which the Lone Star state has more of.

Answer: A) False; B) True; C) But California has more illegal immigrants; D) Both states have oil, which is what transmission fluid is made from; E) All of the above

Question: If you cut the direct (high gear) piston by a certain amount, you can install how many more clutches?

Answer: A) 0.003/1; B) 0.552/3; C) 0.100/2; D) TH350’s are automatic transmissions; they don’t HAVE clutches.

Question: The TH350’s sprag is a one-way clutch that locks in second gear. If you heat-treat your sprag, what will happen as a result?

Answer: A) It will thank you with a big oily kiss when it finally cools down; B) It will improve your high-performance capabilities because it resists shattering better under most conditions; C) I just told you: auto trannies don’t have clutches!! D) There is no such thing as a ‘sprag’ (except in the next Harry Potter book).

Question: A TH350 uses a lot of springs because it has how many clutch packs?

Answer: A) Three; B) Four; C) Five; D) Again with the clutches!!!

Question: If you drill a passage into the front pump, how big should it be and what will it do?

Answer: A) As big as I want/anything I dang well want it to do; B) One-eighth of an inch/supply added lubrication to the outer gear; C) Three-sixteenths of an inch/improve the shift points; D) If you drill into your TH350 it will leak all over your driveway and the neighbors will say, “when are you gonna sell that dang thing and get a car that don’t leak like that?”

Question: Where would you find the framodulator valve on your TH350, and what does it do?

Answer: A) Between the second and third pinion gears/it helps make for smooth shifts under load; B) Attached to the governor by two special studs (applies only to former New Jersey governor McGreevy’s official state vehicle, though); C) Underneath the separator plate; provides adequate separation; D) TH350’s didn’t come equipped with a framodulator valve from the factory.

Question: Paris Hilton can rebuild a TH350 and make it better, faster, stronger than before the accident.

Answer: A) True; B) False; C) Paris Hilton doesn’t work on Chevy’s—only foreign cars; D) Joel learned everything he knows about TH350’s from watching Paris work.

Question: For more positive shifts, you can drill into the valvebody separator plate to add an additional hydraulic circuit. This is a standard step in shift-kit installation.

Answer: A) False; B) True; C) Only true with B&M shift kits; D) Paris likes drilling; E) Remember what we just said about the neighbors and the leaking?

Question: The vacuum modulator on a TH350 serves the same function as a throttle position sensor does on computer-controlled transmissions. But instead of sensing load with electronic sensors, it senses load through engine vacuum. The modulator’s size changes the shift sensitivity. A larger modulator produces softer and earlier shifts, and a smaller modulator provides more sensitive and precise shifts.

Answer: A) False; size doesn’t matter, as any female TH350 driver will tell you; B) True; C) It is incorrect to use the words “sensitive” and “Corvette” in the same sentence; D) The vacuum modulator doesn’t do this in a TH350; the framodulator valve does.

Question: A ‘bunion gear’ is:

Answer: A) The device in a TH350 that enables accurate upshifts from second to third under hard acceleration; B) The main driving unit that propels 1950’s-style kiddie pedal cars; C) False; D) The teeny tiny little item that Joel always seems to find on the floor beneath the lift just after he’s finished bolting the crossmember back into place following a rebuild.

Question: Separator plate and gasket alignment are critical to transmission performance and must be done prior to torquing the transfer plate and valvebody. Installing two special studs diagonally provides proper alignment.

Answer: A) Completely and utterly false and made-up only for the purpose of avoiding having to award any prizes in this competition; B) Completely and totally true and if you don’t do this you’ll be watching little bits and pieces of metal flying out from underneath your car as you tool down the highway; C) I have no idea what any of that stuff is; that’s why I send my tranny to Uncle Joel in the first place; D) Someone will have to ask Micki (or Paris) about the ‘two special studs’ thing.

There! We’re done! And wasn’t that fun boys and girls?

Now, to be eligible to win in this “Stump Uncle Joel” competition, you MUST provide your answers to these questions no later than midnight, Sunday October 22.

The correct answers—and the mystery expert source for this information—will be revealed the following Monday.

Good luck—thanks for playing—and we’ll see you next time on “Stump Uncle Joel”!!





Void where prohibited by law, God, or Administrator Wartell—unless that’s redundant. For a complete list of contest rules, regulations, a winner’s list, and a really yummy blueberry cheesecake recipe send a stamped, self-addressed email to: Ms. Micki’s Mustard Emporium & Tattoo Parlor, P. O. Box 36325, Yeehaw, TX 19197. All ‘stump’ jokes become the sole property of Adams Apple, Inc. Contestants under the age of 18, and Spielman 5, must be accompanied by an adult.

O'Boy this is going to be fun .. Can I get a waver on the adult accompanying clause of the contestants rules? I would love to play, "Stump Uncle Joel."..YUMMY is right, ..I have already sent off for Ms. Micki's recipe, she makes it with those small Texas Berry's ya know?? Well I probably won't do very well as a contestant knowing that "Uncle Joel" is a master at his trade, also has a doctorate I hear..But, what the hecko..I'll give it a try....Good luck to all who's gonna play..

SOMEbody has WAAAY too much free time(and, apparently, Jack Daniels) on their hands!

Soooo...what th heck am I supposed to do wid dis? Shoot...I cain't even SPELL treefiddy!!

OMG!  SFvette, your such a HOOT!   Tatoo art?  Your close, but no tomatoe.........

Well...what happened here?

Somehow I get the distinctive impression that somebody feels Uncle Jed has a particular fascination for Ms. Hilton.
Shame cause there are finer things in life...



                                                 

Okay, boys and girls—time to play the exciting new game, “Stump Uncle Joel”!

And gang, here’s how it’s played: a leading source of expert information on Chevrolet products has recently issued a series of handy, helpful hints all about how to improve a TH350 transmission. Yes, that same set of gears and lube and other esoteric stuff you may have right this minute in your very own automobile!

And since Uncle Joel is an expert his own true self on just that very bad boy tranny, we’re going to test his TH350 knowledge—yes, right here in prime C3VR forum time! Let’s see if Uncle Joel can correctly answer a series of questions, drawn from this source!

And the best part is—you get to play along at home too! But be careful—there just might be some ‘trick questions’ thrown at you along the way!

Ready to play? OK! Here we go:

Question: What years did Chevrolet offer the TH350?

Answer: A) 1939 to 1993; B) 1957 to 1987; C) 1969 till the mid-80’s; D) 1968 till the early Nineties.
(C) 1969 till the mid-80’s)

Question: Full-throttle upshifts are limited to a certain RPM by a governor (no, not Arnold Schwarzenegger, but that was a good guess!). Installing different springs can change the shift points.

Answer: A) True; B) False; C) Not In California on pollution-controlled vehicles; D) Only in Texas on any dang vehicle we want to.
(A) True

Question: Texas is too bigger than Alaska, because glaciers are only frozen water and not real dirt, which the Lone Star state has more of.

Answer: A) False; B) True; C) But California has more illegal immigrants; D) Both states have oil, which is what transmission fluid is made from; E) All of the above
(B) True,,,end of story

Question: If you cut the direct (high gear) piston by a certain amount, you can install how many more clutches?

Answer: A) 0.003/1; B) 0.552/3; C) 0.100/2; D) TH350’s are automatic transmissions; they don’t HAVE clutches.
(C) 0.100/2

Question: The TH350’s sprag is a one-way clutch that locks in second gear. If you heat-treat your sprag, what will happen as a result?

Answer: A) It will thank you with a big oily kiss when it finally cools down; B) It will improve your high-performance capabilities because it resists shattering better under most conditions; C) I just told you: auto trannies don’t have clutches!! D) There is no such thing as a ‘sprag’ (except in the next Harry Potter book).
(B) It will improve your high-performance capabilities because it resists shattering better under most conditions

Question: A TH350 uses a lot of springs because it has how many clutch packs?

Answer: A) Three; B) Four; C) Five; D) Again with the clutches!!!
(B) Four

Question: If you drill a passage into the front pump, how big should it be and what will it do?

Answer: A) As big as I want/anything I dang well want it to do; B) One-eighth of an inch/supply added lubrication to the outer gear; C) Three-sixteenths of an inch/improve the shift points; D) If you drill into your TH350 it will leak all over your driveway and the neighbors will say, “when are you gonna sell that dang thing and get a car that don’t leak like that?”
(E) Never heard of doing this

Question: Where would you find the framodulator valve on your TH350, and what does it do?

Answer: A) Between the second and third pinion gears/it helps make for smooth shifts under load; B) Attached to the governor by two special studs (applies only to former New Jersey governor McGreevy’s official state vehicle, though); C) Underneath the separator plate; provides adequate separation; D) TH350’s didn’t come equipped with a framodulator valve from the factory.
(D) TH350’s didn’t come equipped with a framodulator valve from the factory.(or anywhere else)

Question: Paris Hilton can rebuild a TH350 and make it better, faster, stronger than before the accident.

Answer: A) True; B) False; C) Paris Hilton doesn’t work on Chevy’s—only foreign cars; D) Joel learned everything he knows about TH350’s from watching Paris work.
(B) False

Question: For more positive shifts, you can drill into the valvebody separator plate to add an additional hydraulic circuit. This is a standard step in shift-kit installation.

Answer: A) False; B) True; C) Only true with B&M shift kits; D) Paris likes drilling; E) Remember what we just said about the neighbors and the leaking?
(B) True

Question: The vacuum modulator on a TH350 serves the same function as a throttle position sensor does on computer-controlled transmissions. But instead of sensing load with electronic sensors, it senses load through engine vacuum. The modulator’s size changes the shift sensitivity. A larger modulator produces softer and earlier shifts, and a smaller modulator provides more sensitive and precise shifts.

Answer: A) False; size doesn’t matter, as any female TH350 driver will tell you; B) True; C) It is incorrect to use the words “sensitive” and “Corvette” in the same sentence; D) The vacuum modulator doesn’t do this in a TH350; the framodulator valve does.
(B) True…sorta

Question: A ‘bunion gear’ is:

Answer: A) The device in a TH350 that enables accurate upshifts from second to third under hard acceleration; B) The main driving unit that propels 1950’s-style kiddie pedal cars; C) False; D) The teeny tiny little item that Joel always seems to find on the floor beneath the lift just after he’s finished bolting the crossmember back into place following a rebuild.
(D)The teeny tiny little item that Joel always seems to find on the floor beneath the lift just after he’s finished bolting the crossmember back into place following a rebuild.

Question: Separator plate and gasket alignment are critical to transmission performance and must be done prior to torquing the transfer plate and valvebody. Installing two special studs diagonally provides proper alignment.

Answer: A) Completely and utterly false and made-up only for the purpose of avoiding having to award any prizes in this competition; B) Completely and totally true and if you don’t do this you’ll be watching little bits and pieces of metal flying out from underneath your car as you tool down the highway; C) I have no idea what any of that stuff is; that’s why I send my tranny to Uncle Joel in the first place; D) Someone will have to ask Micki (or Paris) about the ‘two special studs’ thing.
(B)True…but not for the reason mentioned

There! We’re done! And wasn’t that fun boys and girls?

Now, to be eligible to win in this “Stump Uncle Joel” competition, you MUST provide your answers to these questions no later than midnight, Sunday October 22.

The correct answers—and the mystery expert source for this information—will be revealed the following Monday.

Good luck—thanks for playing—and we’ll see you next time on “Stump Uncle Joel”!!





Void where prohibited by law, God, or Administrator Wartell—unless that’s redundant. For a complete list of contest rules, regulations, a winner’s list, and a really yummy blueberry cheesecake recipe send a stamped, self-addressed email to: Ms. Micki’s Mustard Emporium & Tattoo Parlor, P. O. Box 36325, Yeehaw, TX 19197. All ‘stump’ jokes become the sole property of Adams Apple, Inc. Contestants under the age of 18, and Spielman 5, must be accompanied by an adult.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!!

Uncle Joel did indeed come through, and hit every one of the questions right outta the park: a 100% score (even on the looney ones).

Just so you know, these questions were drawn from a cover article in the most recent (December) issue of Chevy High Performance magazine. The article is titled, "Step By Step: Bulletproofing a TH350 Trans".

And what makes Joel's victory all the more sweet (and a genuine source of pride for all of us, his brothers and sisters here at C3VR), is that the article is based upon a professional rebuild of a TH350 by one of his competitors, Mike Stewart of Mike's Transmissions in Lancaster, CA.

Just goes to show, once again--not that it needed proving--that our very own Dr. Adams can go toe-to-toe with anybody in the business and match 'em, gear for gear...

way to go, Joel!

Wait a minute, The official rule calls for answers to be submitted no later that October 22 before midnight, I call for a judgment rule from the supreme contest judge. I smell collaboration here? Is that Paris Hilton under that table.  The winner should be disqualified because of the rules infraction, and the judge should be shot. We the people want Justice in this matter. I plan to take this protest to Judge Judy in Texas, more on this later..  I cry foul.. spielman52006-11-05 15:29:36

There appears to be some cornfusion on this one...I wasn't aware that I were a'pposed to answer these things...I thought ya'll were. Otherewise, I would have done it sooner. No cornspiracy here, Mr. Spielman...does this mean I don't get to keep the prize? I was promised a rubber biskit...and a wooden nickle...(or was it a wooden biskit, and a rubber nickle?)