Topic: "Paging Dr. Adams...paging Dr. Styer..."
in Forum: C3 Electrical
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"Paging Dr. Adams....paging Dr. Adams, and Dr. Kapp...the owners are back and they say that both the brown and the black wires are exactly that: wires. They've put the patient's battery on overnight 110v AC life support...they're asking, 'what do you want them to do next?'..."
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"Paging Dr. Adams...Dr. Clooney just called. Said he's away at some sort of 'medical convention' in Las Vegas, but wanted to know if you think a sonogram machine would aid in your diagnosis? Seems he knows somebody in Beverly Hills who has one...a private party who bought it for his pregnant wife and now doesn't need it anymore..."
"He also asked when nurse Micki's night shift ends..."
"He also asked when nurse Micki's night shift ends..."
"Paging Administrator Wartell...please pick up. The owners are asking about Dr. Adams...they want to know if he might be the same Joel "Dr. Feelgood" Adams who became infamous in the late '60's for giving nitrous oxide shots willy-nilly to patients...and who lost his license to practice when a '67 big block blew both her heads clean off at Pomona Speedway one night as a result and they landed in a nearby resident's--Stanley Schmittendorf's--garden, wiping out his newly-planted, prize-winning begonia patch."
"They say that Joel 'Dr. Feelgood' Adams was last seen operating a small moped clinic in Guadalajara, Mexico in the mid-'70's...and they just want to be reassured that this isn't the same doctor..."
"Also, they're demanding to know if all medical personnel here are in fact 'CCCC's'--'Certified Corvette Cardiopulmonary Chiropracters'..."
"And lastly, they're asking how much malpractice insurance the hospital has..."
"They say that Joel 'Dr. Feelgood' Adams was last seen operating a small moped clinic in Guadalajara, Mexico in the mid-'70's...and they just want to be reassured that this isn't the same doctor..."
"Also, they're demanding to know if all medical personnel here are in fact 'CCCC's'--'Certified Corvette Cardiopulmonary Chiropracters'..."
"And lastly, they're asking how much malpractice insurance the hospital has..."

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Duncanville, TX - USA
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Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/
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Apparently, someone has been abusing the nitrous oxide shots...we may need to put a call in to Dr. Quincy, M.E. ...or possibly Betty Ford...news at 11...
Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56
My Link
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"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"
OH MY!!! Get tied up on the shipping dock for several days, return the the O.R. and look at what I see!
Nurse Micki, if you are my daughter, get me a sandwich. If not, send out for a sandwich. A Ruben would be nice.
Dr. Adams do you have any more x-rays? Can I get a shot from a bit further back to show location better? Maybe even a bit further back yet.
I WANT PICTURES MAN! GIVE ME MORE INFO! We need to save this poor soul!

Moderator
Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/
Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight"
#2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto
Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
AH HA!!! I see the speciallist has returned form his sabbatical in Aruba!! How nice of you to join us, Dr. Styer!!
We only have the three x-rays to go by at this point...the others were not readable due to Nurse Micki's shennanigans in the dark room...
Possibly the patient's guardian can provide more input on the location of the ailment, and perhaps he has had time to recover from his nitrous overdose, so he can reposition the x-ray mo-sheen to provide a better view of the scab.
Nurse Hoolihan, could you please retrieve the patient's father from the psycho ward...Nurse Hoolihan? Paging Nurse Margaret Hoolihan...




We only have the three x-rays to go by at this point...the others were not readable due to Nurse Micki's shennanigans in the dark room...
Possibly the patient's guardian can provide more input on the location of the ailment, and perhaps he has had time to recover from his nitrous overdose, so he can reposition the x-ray mo-sheen to provide a better view of the scab.
Nurse Hoolihan, could you please retrieve the patient's father from the psycho ward...Nurse Hoolihan? Paging Nurse Margaret Hoolihan...
Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56
My Link
(click for Texas-sized view!) NCRS
"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"
Ahh, back to x-ray. I am awaiting "patiently". Nurse Micki, get those guardians to "cough up" those images! I headed for Aruba, but only made it to the loading dock. AND I didn't get loaded.

HOWELL, NJ - USA
Joined: 5/18/2004
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vell hi zere!!
LukesVette 2006-10-04 18:21:54
Ducta Lukas heeya. I vas mit un patient in zee uzza ving. Zo tell us - vat ist nicht verking on zee patient? Do szmell anysing burrrnink? Are any fuzez das kerput? A lot of zee kolors zeemto match zee couterzy delay timer. Does zis patient hav zees ting?
Oh flurline Mickey? Vas ict zou?
Dr. Lukas vaiting to hear you next zzzzymptoms!
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HOWELL, NJ - USA
Joined: 5/18/2004
Posts: 6812
Vette(s): 1979, Targa Blue (72 Color), Pace Car rear spoiler, L88 hood, Dark blue factory interior, 525HP 406, HD 700R4, 370 gears,Steeroids, composite rear spring, TT IIs wrapped in T/A Radials.
Actually, zee brown vire perplexes me. Dr. Adam may be onto zumzing mit ze vipers. Do zey verk okey dokey?
LukesVette 2006-10-04 18:28:31

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"Doctor Styer, the patient's guardians said they're greatly relieved that you showed up at last, especially since nurse Micki has disappeared now...!...and Doctor Lukas, the same certainly goes for you--perhaps the three of you distinguished vetterinary physicians can finally arrive at a proper diagnosis. Anything to get these people out of the waiting room--they're complaining now that the TV doesn't get 'Speed Channel', and they're tired of watching reruns of 'Grey's Anatomy'...!!"
"They say that they didn't see any symptoms of this condition--no system failures, no stinky burning smell, no fuses 'kaput', to use your expert terminology, Dr. Lukas...they only discovered it when they went 'dash diving' and plumbed the upper depths of the nether regions under the right side ductwork, and found these three wires dangling..."
"They report the wipers work, but per their previous inquiry, they're uncertain whether the patient actually has the 'intermittent' feature, or not. Today, they attempted to turn the knobless wiper switch, to see if it might be so equipped. Not being medical professionals like yourselves, they couldn't really tell, but the switch did appear to rotate some. Sort of like Dr. Adams' eyes, after one of his longer surgeries..."
"Also, all the courtesy lamps are currently missing bulbs, so it's anybody's guess at this point as to whether there's a system problem there or not. The guardians do have all new bulbs to install, but now with the patient's battery removed and on life support, there's no electricity to, as they put it, 'light them suckers up brighter than Rosie O'Donnell's face at an all-you-can-eat buffet table."
"One of the guardians actually stuck his finger up into the cavity--perhaps we should pull the examination room curtains closed to discuss this??--to explore where the three wires were coming from. He could only feel a bit of the melted 'scotch lock' device, and couldn't probe any further. Do we need to call in a proctologist??"
"Tomorrow, the guardians promise to get more X-rays taken for Dr. Styer. These will be transmitted to Dr. Adams, per normal protocol. Doctors, can we count on you to reconvene here tomorrow evening for more in-depth consultation and medical diagnosis? The patient's guardians are whispering about contacting Chip Foose and requesting an emergency "Overhaulin'" if the hospital can't bring the patient back to all four wheels..."
"They say that they didn't see any symptoms of this condition--no system failures, no stinky burning smell, no fuses 'kaput', to use your expert terminology, Dr. Lukas...they only discovered it when they went 'dash diving' and plumbed the upper depths of the nether regions under the right side ductwork, and found these three wires dangling..."
"They report the wipers work, but per their previous inquiry, they're uncertain whether the patient actually has the 'intermittent' feature, or not. Today, they attempted to turn the knobless wiper switch, to see if it might be so equipped. Not being medical professionals like yourselves, they couldn't really tell, but the switch did appear to rotate some. Sort of like Dr. Adams' eyes, after one of his longer surgeries..."
"Also, all the courtesy lamps are currently missing bulbs, so it's anybody's guess at this point as to whether there's a system problem there or not. The guardians do have all new bulbs to install, but now with the patient's battery removed and on life support, there's no electricity to, as they put it, 'light them suckers up brighter than Rosie O'Donnell's face at an all-you-can-eat buffet table."
"One of the guardians actually stuck his finger up into the cavity--perhaps we should pull the examination room curtains closed to discuss this??--to explore where the three wires were coming from. He could only feel a bit of the melted 'scotch lock' device, and couldn't probe any further. Do we need to call in a proctologist??"
"Tomorrow, the guardians promise to get more X-rays taken for Dr. Styer. These will be transmitted to Dr. Adams, per normal protocol. Doctors, can we count on you to reconvene here tomorrow evening for more in-depth consultation and medical diagnosis? The patient's guardians are whispering about contacting Chip Foose and requesting an emergency "Overhaulin'" if the hospital can't bring the patient back to all four wheels..."
in Forum: C3 Electrical
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