Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky: Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 - We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Homeland Security.

***BONUS***
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today, might Burn Your A ss Tomorrow".