Recently, I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow and I was waiting on line at the check out when the woman on line behind me asked if I had a dog.  it seemed a silly question, so on impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Dog Chow Diet again although I probably shouldn't because the last time I was on the Purina Dog Chow Diet, I ended up in the hospital!  I had lost over 50 pounds but the only thing I remembered was waking up from a coma in the intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. 

I was really on a roll as I explained to her that  this was the perfect diet.  I told her how it worked:  You load your pants pockets with Purina Dog Chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.  The Dog Chow is nutritionally complete so it provides all essential vitamins, minerals and nutrients.  I told her I was starting it again.  

By now everyone on line was listening to my story.  I had everyone's attention and I was committed to finishing with dignity.  The woman I was talking to was properly horrified at my tale of woe, and asked how it was that I ended up in a coma.  She wanted to know if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned, so I had to tell her the truth, that I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and got hit by a car.