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Topic: A cowboy named Bud...

in Forum: Humor


A cowboy named Bud...

Posted: 3/10/11 11:16am Message 1 of 4
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Frederick, MD - USA
Joined: 9/8/2003
Posts: 3398
Vette(s): 1969 convertible L71 427/435 4-speed black interior

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.


The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes , RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

 

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" 


The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone , and surfs to a NASApage on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high resolution photo.  


The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany.


Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. 


Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." 


"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. 


He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. 

 

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" 

 

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" 


"You're an aide in the Obama Administration", says Bud. 

 

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" 

 

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.  This is a herd of sheep.  


Now give me back my dog."





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A cowboy named Bud...

Posted: 3/10/11 3:38pm Message 2 of 4
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Sykesville, MD - USA
Joined: 4/27/2008
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Vette(s): 1979 Corvette Coupe Corvette Light Blue Midnight Blue interior Mirrored Glass T-tops
Good one, Bruce!
 
Barry
 
LOL



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A cowboy named Bud...

Posted: 3/12/11 3:10pm Message 3 of 4
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York, PA - USA
Joined: 5/18/2010
Posts: 1518
Vette(s): 1969 daytona conv. all original 350 350 380 4 sp w/air..and hard top
I just read this at the diner table..got a bunch of laughs..

Thanks

Rich



My first parade at Carlisle 2010

A cowboy named Bud...

Posted: 3/13/11 7:54pm Message 4 of 4
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Tucson, AZ - USA
Joined: 7/11/2010
Posts: 415
Vette(s): 1982 Black/Tan Leather Build Code C09E Bronze TTop CrossFire Fuel Injection L83 85 Fuel Pump Auto Axle 2.72 Firestone Firehawk Indy500
Yeah,  I liked that one too!

"With all that education, I expected you to act a lot smarter."

Keith




Nobody ever waves when I'm driving the Explorer.
K Woody

in Forum: Humor


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