Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence. One
> from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida.
> They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
>
> The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some
> measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says.
> "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400
> for my crew and $100 profit for me."
>
> The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring,
> then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my
> crew and $100 profit for me."
>
> The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over
> to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."
>
> The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the
> other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
>
> " Easy," the Jerseyian explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we
> hire the guy from Tennessee."

Speaking of Joisey (hope this isn't a dupe)

Once upon a time there were three little pigs. Straw pig, Stick pig and Brick pig. One day a big, bad wolf came up to Straw pig's house and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!!!

Straw pig went running over to Stick pig's house and said, "Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house."  So Stick pig let Straw pig in.

Just then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!!!

Then straw pig and Stick pig went running over to Brick pig's house and said, "Let us in, let us in, the big bad wolf just blew our houses down!"

So Brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up. The wolf said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blowyour house down." Straw pig and Stick pig were so scared! But Brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.

A few minutes passed and a big, black Caddy pulls up. Out steps two massive pigs in pin-striped suits and fedora hats. The pigs come over to the wolf, grab him by the neck and beat the ever-living shnit out of him. Then one of them pulls out a gun, points at the wolf's head and blows him away. The twp pigs get back into their Caddy and drive off.

Straw pig and Stick pig were amazed!!! "Who the hell were those guys?" they asked.

Brick pig says, "Those were my cousins from Jersey..... the Guinea Pigs!"

Please no flames....I'm 100% Italian

Ooufff, and Ooufff again!

The first one is TRUE!!
The second one is a kewl update of the original story!!

That's    

good twist on an old tale!


Aegisfang38870.836412037

[QUOTE=Adams' Apple]
The first one is TRUE!!
The second one is a kewl update of the original story!! [/QUOTE]

 

now i cant speak for all new jersey folks here, but i do know a guy who knows a guy who can get the job done! fuhgeddaboudit!

its funny, in jersey its always something like that! lol

Did you do that thing?!?!

 

LukesVette38872.2929282407

[QUOTE=LukesVette]

Did you do that thing?!?!

 

[/QUOTE]

I'm still working on the other thing