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Topic: A Play on Words

in Forum: Humor


A Play on Words

Posted: 3/3/09 12:39pm Message 1 of 1
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A PLAY ON WORDS.......

1.  The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.

                                     

2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

                                     

3.  She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

 

4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

                                     

5.  The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

 

6.  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 

7.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 

8.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

                                     

9.  Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

 

10.  Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

 

11.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.

 

12.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

13.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a-head.'

 

14.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

 

15.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

                                     

16.  A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

                                     

17.  A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

18.  The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.

 

19.  The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

                                     

20.  A backward poet writes in-verse.

 

21.  In democracy it's your vote that counts.   In feudalism it's your count that votes.

                                     

22.  When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

 

23.  Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!




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in Forum: Humor


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