I personally guarantee all of these...


1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Daily Thought: Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!!

Sounds ok to me !!!    

No wonder I enjoy this site. The tears are still rolling down my cheeks. I cannot wait to get to H.S. in less than a month. My bumper car is not done yet, but it better be. Anyone know of any corn we can squeeze to make some cheep petro? 

Man, I just can't believe the stuff I learn here. Jeffm2008-03-18 15:03:14

[QUOTE=my7T1] I like it!!! Can't wait to meet you Joel. You and I think a lot alike.[/QUOTE]

Using this term kinda loosely here aren't we Mr. Moore? JUST KIDDIN......

Very Nice assortment of truths displayed Bro... I especially like the last one. Although I have to say that a flight of cement steps tend to broaden that smile to a much larger proportion!!!    

[QUOTE=greypoupon69]OMG!!    That's so MEAN....[/QUOTE]