Topic: ATM Instructions By Sex
in Forum: Humor
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Lifetime MemberATM Instructions By Sex
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake; put the window down.
4. Find handbag. Spread contents on passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Paw through handbag contents on seat to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in side view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Dig through handbag contents on seat again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Put contents back in handbag.1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake; put the window down.
4. Find handbag. Spread contents on passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Paw through handbag contents on seat to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in side view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Dig through handbag contents on seat again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
19. Re-check makeup.
20. Drive forward 2 feet.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
24. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
25. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
26. Redial person on cell phone.
27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
28. Release Parking Brake.
The difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys!!
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Larry, that even applies to the females that are NOT blonde........usally it's just the blonde ones.
corvette440hp
Larry, you better hope your wife doesn't see this........................................................
Barry
in Forum: Humor
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