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Topic: bank humor?

in Forum: Humor


bank humor?

Posted: 12/10/05 1:28pm Message 1 of 11
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Anacortes, WA - USA
Joined: 12/16/2002
Posts: 1293
Vette(s): 1979 Red #72 C3 Corvette,T-350,Black interior,air,tilt/tele,K&N.And a 1978 Olds Cutlass 350/350,auto,air,2-dr.,buckets
A sign in  the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers  to  
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers  using this  
new  facility are requested to u! se the  procedures outlined below when  
accessing their  accounts.
 
  After months  of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures  
have been   developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your  gender."
 
      MALE  PROCEDURE:
     ! 1. Drive up to the cash  machine.
     2. Put down your car  window.
     3. Insert card into machine and enter  PIN.
     4. Enter amount of cash required and  withdraw.
     5. Retrieve card, cash and  receipt.
     6. Put window  up.
     7. Drive  off.
 
     FEMALE  PROCE! DURE:
    1. Drive up to cash  machine.
     2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the  machine.
     3. Set parking brake, put the window  down.
     4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate  card.
     5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
     6. Attempt to insert card into  machine.
     7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the  car.
     8. Insert  card.
     9. Re-insert card the right  way.
     10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written  on the inside back  page.
     11. Enter  PIN.
     12. Press cancel and re-enter correct  PIN.
     13. Enter amount of cash  required.
     14. Check makeup in rear view  mirror.
    15. Retrieve cash and  receipt.
     16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash  inside.
     17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of  checkbook.
     18. Re-check  makeup.
     19. Drive forward 2  feet.
     20. Reverse back to cash  machine.
     21. Retrieve  card.
       22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card    into  the slot  provided.
     23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind  you.
     24. Restart stalled engine and pull  off.
     25. Redial person on cell  phone.
     26. Drive for 2 to 3  miles.
     27. Release Parking  Brake.




Jon,-Majestic Glass Corvette Club-....Red #72,blk.interior,1979 C3 Corvette-TH350,Weiand,Holley,glass tops,Pioneer,3.55's,K&N,Dynomax,Flowmaster 40's,Energy Suspension,Spicer,VB&P(pics soon); 1978 Olds Cutlass Supreme 350/350,Dk. Blue 2-door Coupe-Hotchkis,PST,K&N,XM...'99 Mitsubishi Galant GTZ V6,black/grey leather,intake,strut bars,tint... |IMG|http://www.msnusers.com/cutlasscorvetteworkinprogress/shoebox.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=63|/IMG|

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bank humor?

Posted: 12/10/05 1:40pm Message 2 of 11
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BINGHAMTON, NY - USA
Joined: 7/19/2003
Posts: 3808
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I have seen this happen, way to many times,I thought it was normal ?


C3VR Lifetime Member #93

bank humor?

Posted: 12/10/05 5:52pm Message 3 of 11
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Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/ Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight" #2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
You've been stuck behind Mama again, haven't you!


Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56    

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"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"

bank humor?

Posted: 12/11/05 1:48am Message 4 of 11
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Irving, TX - USA
Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
Vette(s): #1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks. #2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.
SHAME ON YOU GUYS!!! Not ALL "Women" are like that! You all/you guys, would be bored without us or......."GAY".



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MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113

bank humor?

Posted: 12/11/05 1:09pm Message 5 of 11
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Anacortes, WA - USA
Joined: 12/16/2002
Posts: 1293
Vette(s): 1979 Red #72 C3 Corvette,T-350,Black interior,air,tilt/tele,K&N.And a 1978 Olds Cutlass 350/350,auto,air,2-dr.,buckets
Good point!  I've seen some guys do the same thing,too


Jon,-Majestic Glass Corvette Club-....Red #72,blk.interior,1979 C3 Corvette-TH350,Weiand,Holley,glass tops,Pioneer,3.55's,K&N,Dynomax,Flowmaster 40's,Energy Suspension,Spicer,VB&P(pics soon); 1978 Olds Cutlass Supreme 350/350,Dk. Blue 2-door Coupe-Hotchkis,PST,K&N,XM...'99 Mitsubishi Galant GTZ V6,black/grey leather,intake,strut bars,tint... |IMG|http://www.msnusers.com/cutlasscorvetteworkinprogress/shoebox.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=63|/IMG|

bank humor?

Posted: 12/11/05 3:37pm Message 6 of 11
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Greensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..
Y'all need to go easy on the gals.... remember if it wasn't for yo mama yo wouldn't be here...


bank humor?

Posted: 12/12/05 6:23am Message 7 of 11
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MENTOR, OH - USA
Joined: 9/15/2003
Posts: 577
Vette(s): 1979 L-82, dark blue

[QUOTE=C3RVETTE]Good point!  I've seen some guys do the same thing,too[/QUOTE]

on the west coast?  I don't doubt it. 




bank humor?

Posted: 12/12/05 12:17pm Message 8 of 11
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Irving, TX - USA
Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
Vette(s): #1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks. #2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.
[QUOTE=hank51]

[QUOTE=C3RVETTE]Good point! I've seen some guys do the same thing,too[/QUOTE]


on the west coast? I don't doubt it.

[/QUOTE]

I've seen a lot of MEN in OHIO do that "female procedure" at the bank!!!    greypoupon6938698.5131944444


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MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113

bank humor?

Posted: 12/12/05 12:19pm Message 9 of 11
Former Member
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Anacortes, WA - USA
Joined: 12/16/2002
Posts: 1293
Vette(s): 1979 Red #72 C3 Corvette,T-350,Black interior,air,tilt/tele,K&N.And a 1978 Olds Cutlass 350/350,auto,air,2-dr.,buckets
[QUOTE=hank51]

[QUOTE=C3RVETTE]Good point!  I've seen some guys do the same thing,too[/QUOTE]

on the west coast?  I don't doubt it. 

[/QUOTE] Nope,only in your town!


Jon,-Majestic Glass Corvette Club-....Red #72,blk.interior,1979 C3 Corvette-TH350,Weiand,Holley,glass tops,Pioneer,3.55's,K&N,Dynomax,Flowmaster 40's,Energy Suspension,Spicer,VB&P(pics soon); 1978 Olds Cutlass Supreme 350/350,Dk. Blue 2-door Coupe-Hotchkis,PST,K&N,XM...'99 Mitsubishi Galant GTZ V6,black/grey leather,intake,strut bars,tint... |IMG|http://www.msnusers.com/cutlasscorvetteworkinprogress/shoebox.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=63|/IMG|

bank humor?

Posted: 12/13/05 3:21am Message 10 of 11
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Greensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..
Drive through? This has been replaced by direct deposit and the use of the ATM machine.


in Forum: Humor


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