she's not still sleeping with him.  the one thing she hasn't done is lie to me.  as for random...he was a marine that was a regular for lunches and dinners at the restaurant she worked at, and she had a crush.

Maybe I do just need to walk away.  But I'm so scared of doing that, so scared of losing the person that's been the best person in my life.  and, at the moment, I can be sustained by the idea that we'll start over in September and things will be better and maybe she'll even move out here at the close of the Semester.  it's a hope that I can cling to, even though it will probably make the pain worse later on.  I just don't want to let go of the best relationship I've ever had, and a little voice in my head says that we can work past this.

Move in with her and buy some ocean front property in North Dakota, with an off shore oil rig, and live happily ever after.

You asked for advice.  Bet you won't do that again.

Oh yes, leave your Corvette for the rest of us on dry land.

You've gotten some sound advice here, Man...I'd put the visit "on hold" for the time being. Let her soak in her own juices for a while.....give her time to think about her little fling. Without being too obvious, I'd start "phasing her out"......call less often without ignoring her completely. At this stage, there's nothing worse than smothering a person....you crowd her and she'll know she's got you. You can't play the part of the CHUMP....doesn't do much for your image. Of course, my advice is applicable only if you're going to try to salvage this relationship. I don't know if I would....but I'm not in your shoes, either. Good luck, Bud.

JR

I intend to try to give the impression that I don't much care...the only problem is that I DO, so it won't be easy.  I have a hard time playing apathetic.  And it tends to start hurting when I go for awhile without talking to her.  (before all this we talked EVERY night..she even commented last night that she didn't think she could go to bed without talking to me, it would just be really weird.)  but we'll see what can be accomplished.  as for postpning the visit, well...I can't get my money back for the plane ticket if she doesn't come. so, might as well, eh?

[QUOTE=CorvetteRacer1970] as for postpning the visit, well...I can't get my money back for the plane ticket if she doesn't come. so, might as well, eh?[/QUOTE]

I suppose...You have to be practical. And one never knows.

JR

And one never knows.

[/QUOTE]

exactly.  I figure I'll give it a shot, and if it doesn't work out...I'll deal with it then.  I have a bit going for me...we're watching a couple movies she's never seen, one of them being the Notebook...she loves classical music, and we're going to the symphony one night (she's already asked if she can dress up formal and have me wear my dress uniform for this), and...the corvette is running, and to this day, she has never ridden in, nor even seen in person, that car...and she really wants to.   she was extremely disappointed when it wasn't done before the car show we went to in July, so I could enter.

[QUOTE=CorvetteRacer1970]I really appreciate all the advice, I really do.  But I'm a stubborn bitch, and I'm at war with myself here, so...I think I'm gonna have to just play it by ear, wait and see how September goes, and if it doesn't work out...no big loss, yes?  I mean...it's only a girl, not a corvette.[/QUOTE]

No Offense, but that not right, selfish would be the correct assesment.  You need to get the head out of you're you know what and start thinking with logic.  You should have been in our church this Sunday when, believe it or not, they were talking about letting emotions control your way of thinking rather then the logic and word of jesus.   Not to get over biblical here, but when you dig deep in to the word most of it is simple logic, not based on emotion.

Your being selfish and your wanting to play mind games.  One phrase here "The truth shall set you free", that can mean so many things and in this case when you two start playing touchy, feely mind games over the phone and get truthful and real (no matter how much it Hurts) the truth will come out and both of you will be freed.  Freed from so many things that only God can see them because your emotions are controlling you.