I have a dilemma, and could use some advice.

Today is a huge national holiday for our amigo's. I'm trying to get into the spirit of things, but I'm very concerned that my easy going and PC nature may be misconstrued by some who are not as sensitive as I.

But before I can share my plans with you, I need to bring to your attention what has caused this confusion for me.

Since neither Mexicans or Americans living in Mexico celebrate the 4th of July, nor does anyone of them (except the U.S. Embassy) fly the American flag, would I be offending anyone by joining in today's merriment, and burn the Mexican flag ?

Would it be proper for me to expect them not to work today ?

Should we serve them Bud's, or Coor's rather than Corona's ?

I'll leave those decisions to you ! What I have come up with are party games for today's festivities, and I need any additional games that you can think of.

• Starting immediately get a bunch of friends (you should all be wearing dark windbreakers with the word Immigration stenciled on them) and jump out of dark SUV's, and 4 door sedans at every location the hang out at. You know where, the place's that they hang out every day waiting for non-tax paying work !
• You can also do the above at all car wash's, landscape companies, farms, restaurants, Taco Bell's etc.
• Some one else came up with this idea but I thinks it's a party favorite. Pick up a bunch of them with the promise of work, and then drop them off at the nearest Immigration Office ! Oh get over it, the INS isn't going to send them back, this is just harmless fun.
• Do a few drive by's using red, white, and blue paint balls (our American colors just in case they forgot who's country they're in). No I would never suggest real bullets
• Take a few to the local KKK rally, I'm sure the members would appreciate having authentic Piñata's for their kid to bash.
• Take a few to Cuba, then they'll know the true meaning of wet backs ! Only kidding, they use rubber tubes in Cuba.

Please send any other suggestion to

President Bush & VP Vicente Fox