COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. .

 65 above zero:
 Floridians turn on the heat.
people in Ohio plant gardens.

 60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
 People in Ohio sunbathe.

 50 above zero:
 Italian & English cars won't start.
 People in Ohio drive with the windows down..

 40 above zero:
 Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
 People in Ohio throw on a flannel shirt.

 35 above zero:
 New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
 People in Ohio have the last cookout before it gets cold.

 20 above Zero
 People in Miami=2 0all die.
 Ohioans close the windows.

 Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
 People in Ohio get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
 Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Ohio are selling cookies door to door.


 20 below zero:
 Washington DC runs out of hot air.
 People in Ohio let the dogs sleep indoors.

 30 below zero:
 Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Ohioans get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.

 40 below zero :
 ALL atomic motion stops .
 People in Ohio start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

 50 below zero:
 Hell freezes over.
Ohio public schools will open 2 hours late