Topic: Corvette, Jeff Foxworthy Style
in Forum: Humor
Already a Member?
Click Here to Login
Not yet a Member?
Click Here to Register for Free!
Lifetime MemberIrving, TX - USA
Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
Vette(s): #1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks.
#2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.
Jeff Foxworthy style:
*
You've ever bought a piece of clothing to "match the car."
*
You have multiple cars in the family, but everyone refers to the Corvette as "THE car"
*
You've driven an hour+ and had to take a day off work to buy a $10 car
part (that does not affect the operation of the car in anyway)
*
Your car is 26 years old and you find out that it still has the original fuel filter, and you're HAPPY!
*
You have more than one car, and the one that is 20 years older than the
other runs 10 times better
*
You know the exact DATE that your car was built (Jan 16, 1974)... but
forget your girlfriend/wife's birthday (Uh, I was going to get you something honey but I...)
*
You know the exact day you bought your car (April 3, 1999).... But
forget your anniversary.
*
You've ever explained (in detail) to your girlfriend who "Zora" is...
*
You know that "Corvette" is a small French ship known for it's
maneuverability.
*
You have 100% cotton towels for your car and you use old, worn-out ones in your bathroom.
*
You have a PO Box that your wife does not know about so you can get your mods in the mail.
*
You refer to your Vette as if it were your child.
*
Instead of your spouse, you carry a picture of your car in your wallet.
*
You hang pictures of Vettes in your GARAGE so she's not lonely.
*
You've actually had a momentary twinge of worry at night, when you turn out the light in the garage, about leaving your 'Vette alone in the
dark.
*
You spend more time vacuuming the 20 square feet of carpet in your Vette than your 2000 square foot house.
*
You feel that you must scrub the underside, you never know, some
mechanic may get the wrong impression of you if it's dirty.
*
You find yourself looking at your reflection in large plate glass as you
drive by.
*
A bird craps on it, you stop turn around and go home to clean it off.
*
You drive around town to every Starbucks looking for an outside table
next to a parking place because you think people are impressed by
watching you drink coffee next to your Vette.
*
You order a build sheet for your Vette even though you have no idea what it means.
*
You have a window sticker hanging in your bedroom.
*
You think people that drive BMW's are commies.
*
You think all Japanese cars are junk driven by young punk rice boys that
want to race you.
*
You think there's a chance it may rain.. I'll take the Lexus...
*
SUVs aggravate you because they are bigger that you are...
*
You find it necessary to keep pressing that little button that goes
between oil temp/water temp/fuel avg./ etc..
*
Even though you've never changed oil in any car you've ever owned, you want to do it on your Vette because nobody else knows how...
*
You go to the drug store to buy cotton swabs for your car instead of
your ears.
*
You cause traffic jams as you maneuver your Vette around a puddle of
water in the street.
*
When nobody is looking, you talk to it and swear that it understands
you...
*
You get very depressed if you've been cruising all day and stopped many times but nobody comes up and says.. "Wow, nice Vette!"
*
You keep a shop manual in the bathroom for your reading enjoyment...
*
You understand that "Owning" does not necessarily mean "Driving".
*
You have one pair of sunglasses that are designated Vette shades. You
never wear them while driving the "other car".
*
You spend half an afternoon and cause bodily harm to yourself trying to
get that last little leaf that's stuck to your radiator through that little hole on the right side of the shroud.
*
Every time you talk about your Vette to ANYBODY, you say "The Vette"
instead of car.
*
Nobody under the age of 30 is allowed in your garage.
*
The weatherman predicts rain and you are VISIBLY upset.
*
You yell "Save the wave!" to people who don't wave back.
*
You have an 11'X4' corvette poster on the wall above your bed.
*
You wave at other Corvette owners when you are out for your evening jog.
*
Your friends make sure they bring up your car more than you do, when you meet new people.
*
You tell everyone that you will drive yourself when a big group is going
out even though there is plenty of room in another vehicle.
*
And everyone fights over who gets to ride with you.
*
You flip through every page of Eckler's, Mid America and Corvette
Central every month even though they have the same parts every month.
*
You look at parts for C1s, C2s, C4s, and C5s even though your car is a
C3.
*
"Ooo" and "Ahh" over another Vette, that for all intents and purposes
could be your Vettes twin (same year, color, etc.)!
*
While looking to buy a house, garage space and condition is the first
thing you look at.
*
You decline a night at the "gentlemen's" clubs with friends, because you
need to be up early the next morning to get to the track.
*
You grit you teeth, and scowl, every time you see a Mustang on the road.
*
Your 10-year-old kid has been programmed to warn his little friends to
stay away from the car without you having to prompt him.
*
You've ever bought a piece of clothing to "match the car."
*
You have multiple cars in the family, but everyone refers to the Corvette as "THE car"
*
You've driven an hour+ and had to take a day off work to buy a $10 car
part (that does not affect the operation of the car in anyway)
*
Your car is 26 years old and you find out that it still has the original fuel filter, and you're HAPPY!
*
You have more than one car, and the one that is 20 years older than the
other runs 10 times better
*
You know the exact DATE that your car was built (Jan 16, 1974)... but
forget your girlfriend/wife'
*
You know the exact day you bought your car (April 3, 1999).... But
forget your anniversary.
*
You've ever explained (in detail) to your girlfriend who "Zora" is...
*
You know that "Corvette" is a small French ship known for it's
maneuverability.
*
You have 100% cotton towels for your car and you use old, worn-out ones in your bathroom.
*
You have a PO Box that your wife does not know about so you can get your mods in the mail.
*
You refer to your Vette as if it were your child.
*
Instead of your spouse, you carry a picture of your car in your wallet.
*
You hang pictures of Vettes in your GARAGE so she's not lonely.
*
You've actually had a momentary twinge of worry at night, when you turn out the light in the garage, about leaving your 'Vette alone in the
dark.
*
You spend more time vacuuming the 20 square feet of carpet in your Vette than your 2000 square foot house.
*
You feel that you must scrub the underside, you never know, some
mechanic may get the wrong impression of you if it's dirty.
*
You find yourself looking at your reflection in large plate glass as you
drive by.
*
A bird craps on it, you stop turn around and go home to clean it off.
*
You drive around town to every Starbucks looking for an outside table
next to a parking place because you think people are impressed by
watching you drink coffee next to your Vette.
*
You order a build sheet for your Vette even though you have no idea what it means.
*
You have a window sticker hanging in your bedroom.
*
You think people that drive BMW's are commies.
*
You think all Japanese cars are junk driven by young punk rice boys that
want to race you.
*
You think there's a chance it may rain.. I'll take the Lexus...
*
SUVs aggravate you because they are bigger that you are...
*
You find it necessary to keep pressing that little button that goes
between oil temp/water temp/fuel avg./ etc..
*
Even though you've never changed oil in any car you've ever owned, you want to do it on your Vette because nobody else knows how...
*
You go to the drug store to buy cotton swabs for your car instead of
your ears.
*
You cause traffic jams as you maneuver your Vette around a puddle of
water in the street.
*
When nobody is looking, you talk to it and swear that it understands
you...
*
You get very depressed if you've been cruising all day and stopped many times but nobody comes up and says.. "Wow, nice Vette!"
*
You keep a shop manual in the bathroom for your reading enjoyment...
*
You understand that "Owning" does not necessarily mean "Driving".
*
You have one pair of sunglasses that are designated Vette shades. You
never wear them while driving the "other car".
*
You spend half an afternoon and cause bodily harm to yourself trying to
get that last little leaf that's stuck to your radiator through that little hole on the right side of the shroud.
*
Every time you talk about your Vette to ANYBODY, you say "The Vette"
instead of car.
*
Nobody under the age of 30 is allowed in your garage.
*
The weatherman predicts rain and you are VISIBLY upset.
*
You yell "Save the wave!" to people who don't wave back.
*
You have an 11'X4' corvette poster on the wall above your bed.
*
You wave at other Corvette owners when you are out for your evening jog.
*
Your friends make sure they bring up your car more than you do, when you meet new people.
*
You tell everyone that you will drive yourself when a big group is going
out even though there is plenty of room in another vehicle.
*
And everyone fights over who gets to ride with you.
*
You flip through every page of Eckler's, Mid America and Corvette
Central every month even though they have the same parts every month.
*
You look at parts for C1s, C2s, C4s, and C5s even though your car is a
C3.
*
"Ooo" and "Ahh" over another Vette, that for all intents and purposes
could be your Vettes twin (same year, color, etc.)!
*
While looking to buy a house, garage space and condition is the first
thing you look at.
*
You decline a night at the "gentlemen's" clubs with friends, because you
need to be up early the next morning to get to the track.
*
You grit you teeth, and scowl, every time you see a Mustang on the road.
*
Your 10-year-old kid has been programmed to warn his little friends to
stay away from the car without you having to prompt him.
�����
My Link 
MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113
SPONSOR AD:: (Our Sponsors help support C3VR)
Lifetime MemberGreensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..
All true...... so is there supposed to any humor in what Jeff is saying here? 
Lifetime MemberCOPPERAS COVE, TX - USA
Joined: 7/6/2002
Posts: 417
Vette(s): 1972 corvette stingray convertible
2007 coupe
I dont get it????
It's an everyday thing and all true. funny but true maybe border line sad.
It's an everyday thing and all true. funny but true maybe border line sad.
Former Member
Send PM
Cramerton, NC - USA
Joined: 8/22/2006
Posts: 1094
Vette(s): black 1982 coupe slate gray interior, 350 crossfire, 1985 fuel pump, Steeroids R&P conversion
There is a very fine line between hobby and obsession. I think most of us crossed that line LONG ago. Guilty as charged on most of the above.
And proud of it!
ebo
Lifetime MemberSummerville, SC - USA
Joined: 8/31/2005
Posts: 660
Vette(s): My 1974 Vette sold last August 2014. I am still willing to show up to events and local gatherings if anything happening No new vette yet.
I don't get it, what are you talkin about? And who said you could spy on my private life with me and my vette? Geez, every detail of my life is posted up there. lol.
Jeremy H.
Lifetime MemberIrving, TX - USA
Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
Vette(s): #1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks.
#2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.
I posted this because I'm "GUILTY" to all except I have never been to a "Gentlemen's Club."
�����
My Link
MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113
Thanks for posting that Mick! Scary how it only took a few weeks after I got my first Vette for most all of those "truths" to become applicable to me
.
.
Great one Mick, I'm guilty of almost all those except "You find it necessary to keep pressing that little button that goes between oil temp/water temp/fuel avg./ etc.."cilrah 2008-07-05 22:56:57
MARK
LIFETIME MEMBER #117 
Click here to see my new friend P-Racer
"Keep up the Pace"
in Forum: Humor
SPONSOR AD: (Our Sponsors help support C3VR)