I saw this on Craigslist--- 

Mint??= Rips unnoticeable with seat covers
Buy Here Pay Here?= We charge exorbitant interest
Runs and Drives 100%=?It's amazing this piece of junk turned over. Crossing my fingers it works when you come see it.
Loaded??=??Base model
Power Everything??=?Power windows
Custom?= Stupid-looking 22" rims/ tacky paint job
Gas Saver =?Slow
Fast?=?I've dogged this car all out
Low Miles?= Never runs / wrecked / salvage title
Highway Miles??= High miles
Must Sell?=? Before the engine falls out of the bottom
OBO??=?I'll never get five grand for a 1983 Civic
No Rust?=??Hoping you won't notice the rust
Needs paint = lots of rust
Fresh Paint! = Those aren't rust bubbles.
RUNS & LOOKS GOOD?=??Can't see the dents from 10 feet
WOW CHEAP??=???Blown head gasket / totalled
Needs Nothing??=??Down two quarts and still original struts at 120k miles
Classic??=??Beater
Parts Car?=??Wasp colony inside
No engine leaks = Everything else leaks
very nice = not very nice
AC needs charge = AC needs $$$$
8/10 = 2/10
Good tires = Has tires
New tires = Needs expensive front end work
Reduced = still way more than it's worth
Freshly detailed = My kids destroyed it.
one careful owner = 6 not so careful ones
Owned by an old lady = Owned by a leadfoot teenager.
Needs Some Body Work = Covered in bondo / missing both bumpers
Looks Like New = I washed it
Loaded With Options = there's a radio in there.
All Original = I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.
Project Car = POS
Lots Of Potential = POS
Needs Minor Repair = POS
Mechanic's Special = POS
Always garaged = Because it never starts
Rare = I never leave the small town I'm in
Selling for a friend = The owner is too honest / My 'friend' is my senile grandpa and I need gambling money.
Won several car show awards = Check out the trophies my buddies and I made for ourselves and our car club.
Too many projects = My wife is going to leave if I don't get this out of the garage
Not enough time to repair = I have no idea how to fix this / I'm broke.
Make offer = No idea what the car is worth.
OBO = I'll take what I can get
Many new parts--And lots more needed!
Minor oil leak = I hope you hate your driveway. Keep a couple quarts in your trunk just to be safe.
Must see to appreciate = How ridiculous my description is.
Moving, must sell = This car probably won't make it across town.
My loss is your gain = I got screwed, now it's your turn.
Nicest one on Craigslist = Only one on craigslist.
Low Miles = Replaced gauge cluster