A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an

envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad."

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter,
with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had
to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so
nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her
piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so
much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad she's
pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods,
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for

all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS,

so Stacy can get better.  She sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Love, your son, John.

P. S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

That was good.. Gotcha..