Topic: Democrat, Republican or Redneck?
in Forum: Humor
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Moderator
Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/
Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight"
#2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto
Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
Are you a Democrat, Republican or
Redneck?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert
shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and
your family. What do you do??
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to discuss it with
some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck's Answer
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow points?
Son: "Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You ain't taking that to no taxidermist!"
Redneck?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert
shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and
your family. What do you do??
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to discuss it with
some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck's Answer
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow points?
Son: "Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You ain't taking that to no taxidermist!"
Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56
My Link
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"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"
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Greensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..
Surprise... I'm a Redneck Republican.... Why..... Cuz conservativly I only need 1 shot ta take care of that situation!Tuxblacray 2006-09-19 15:45:53
One N' Done

I think a few, to make sure it was working properly, feel and balance, I mean if you have to clean it after one round ya might wanna let go with a few more and make it worth while to clean

"I Love all Corvettes! LifeTime Member #60..Terry"
Thats like the new bumper sticker that says "RUN HILLARY RUN"
The Democrats put it on the rear bumper, the Republicans put it on the front.

Moderator
Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/
Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight"
#2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto
Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
[QUOTE=kstyer] Thats like the new bumper sticker that says "RUN HILLARY RUN"
Now that thar..
.....that thar is FUNNY!!!!
The Democrats put it on the rear bumper, the Republicans put it on the front.
[/QUOTE]



Now that thar..



Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56
My Link
(click for Texas-sized view!) NCRS
"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"
in Forum: Humor
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