The top twelve indicators that the economy is bad---

12. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.

9. Hotwheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading

higher than GM in the stock market.

8. Obama met with small businesses - GE, Pfizer, Chrysler,

Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.

7. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning

their children's names.

5. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.

4. People in Africa are donating money to Americans. Mothers

in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate; do you

know how many kids are starving in America?"

3. Motel Six won't leave the lights on.

2. The Mafia is laying off judges.

And my most favorite indicator of all.

1. If the bank returns your check marked as "insufficient funds", you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.