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Topic: Extreme Redneck...

in Forum: Humor


Extreme Redneck...

Posted: 5/1/06 4:49am Message 1 of 7
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Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/ Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight" #2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.


And Finally...

An East Tennessee couple, both real-live rednecks, had 9 children.. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.


Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56    

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"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"

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Extreme Redneck...

Posted: 5/1/06 9:04am Message 2 of 7
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ANCHORAGE, AK - USA
Joined: 10/12/2004
Posts: 2193
Vette(s): 1965-327 coupe, 1968-small block coupe, 1969-427, 1971-454 coupe and currently a 1976-ZZ4 coupe reborn again,and hotter than ever.. Add a 1996 CE LT-4 for backup
O'Boy your funny today..Love it..I really like number #17..




   "I Love all Corvettes! LifeTime Member #60..Terry"

Extreme Redneck...

Posted: 5/1/06 9:11am Message 3 of 7
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Joined: 3/9/2006
Posts: 2168

     

I guess since I have the tattoo part down, I should start catching up on the rest of the list!!

 




Extreme Redneck...

Posted: 5/1/06 1:10pm Message 4 of 7
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Greensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..

Extreme Redneck...

Posted: 5/1/06 4:50pm Message 5 of 7
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CUYAHOGA FALLS, OH - USA
Joined: 12/2/2003
Posts: 6424
Vette(s): 1975 C3 Red, T-Tops, Black Interior. All I need is time and money! Getting there!
        


Extreme Redneck...

Posted: 5/1/06 5:19pm Message 6 of 7
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Syracuse, NY - USA
Joined: 8/1/2003
Posts: 693
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    born on a pool table? how many were made there then, all? 




Aegisfang38838.7225231482


Extreme Redneck...

Posted: 5/1/06 7:30pm Message 7 of 7
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Irving, TX - USA
Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
Vette(s): #1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks. #2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.
  Loved it!


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MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113

in Forum: Humor


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