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Topic: Forrest Gump goes to Heaven

in Forum: Humor


Forrest Gump goes to Heaven

Posted: 7/17/07 1:24pm Message 1 of 6
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Roseland, NJ - USA
Joined: 12/4/2003
Posts: 966
Vette(s): 1974, 454 with 4 on the floor, matching numbers.

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed,
and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

 

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to
pass it before you can get into Heaven."

 

Forrest responds, "It sure is  good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test
as it was."

 

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:
What is God's first name?"

 

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers"

 

Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."

 

The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do
have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.

 

"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about
that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

 

Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give
you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

 

"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

 

"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated
and frustrated St Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song,

 

"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
and said: "Run Forrest, run."

 

 

 

 




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Forrest Gump goes to Heaven

Posted: 7/17/07 2:28pm Message 2 of 6
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visalia, CA - USA
Joined: 10/27/2006
Posts: 641
Vette(s): 1981 red with silver interior,350(L-81), 350TH, glass t-tops, aluminium rims, 1980 Black/ Black int., 350 GM crate engine/350TH, 1976 black/ saddle int., L-82 w/headers, holly carb, Hypertech ignition
Thanks !  I really enjoyed that one  LOL LOL


Forrest Gump goes to Heaven

Posted: 7/17/07 6:44pm Message 3 of 6
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Joined: 3/9/2006
Posts: 2168
That was the best so far!!  Rolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing


Forrest Gump goes to Heaven

Posted: 7/17/07 7:01pm Message 4 of 6
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Valley Springs, CA - USA
Joined: 6/25/2007
Posts: 360
Vette(s): 1978 metalic rootbeer/gold,275hp, 350ci/th350
LOL That was so good.Rolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20LaughingRolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20LaughingRolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing


Forrest Gump goes to Heaven

Posted: 7/17/07 7:29pm Message 5 of 6
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Irving, TX - USA
Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
Vette(s): #1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks. #2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.
Great one, Warbird! ClapClapStarRolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing


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Forrest Gump goes to Heaven

Posted: 7/17/07 7:32pm Message 6 of 6
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Sebago Lake, ME - USA
Joined: 2/15/2007
Posts: 964
Vette(s): 1978 Silver Anniversary L82 4spd (M21) Red Leather. Pace Car is in the hands of a new caretaker.
Smart dude, that Forest.
I already had my calulator out.Approve



in Forum: Humor


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