Topic: Governmentium
in Forum: Humor
Already a Member?
Click Here to Login
Not yet a Member?
Click Here to Register for Free!
Former Member
Send PM
Spotsylvania, VA - USA
Joined: 1/20/2007
Posts: 293
Vette(s): 1977 Silver Coupe
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science, which has been named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take over four days to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a very high concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take over four days to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a very high concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons
SPONSOR AD:: (Our Sponsors help support C3VR)
Lifetime MemberGreensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..
I would have sworn that it was a vapor like gas...
20111115155328r.jpg)
Lifetime MemberManteca, CA - USA
Joined: 11/20/2005
Posts: 3623
Vette(s): 1978,two tone,Metalic Rootbeer & gold
1975 L48 4 speed
Dang ! Science is amazing. And as mind boggling as that was, you said it in such a way that even I could understand it 
.
.Jimmy B.
Just can't wait to get on the road again. 
Click to see larger views!
Former Member
Send PM
Cramerton, NC - USA
Joined: 8/22/2006
Posts: 1094
Vette(s): black 1982 coupe slate gray interior, 350 crossfire, 1985 fuel pump, Steeroids R&P conversion
This sounds like a machine a local guy brings to our cruise-ins regularly. This thing is about the size of a volkswagen and runs on a two cylinder gas engine. It has at least 15 powered shafts which have wheels, gears, propellers, and about everything else you can think of moving in some way. Everywhere you look something is moving, turning, oscillating. He oils it regularly to keep everything moving. He calls it his "GOVERNMENT MACHINE".....everything on it works but it don't do a DAMN THING!!!
I also thought of it as a gas.
Mostly hot air.
Although plenty of baloney.
And lots of B.S.
Must be a conglomerate.
Sometimes it will self-destruct, but you can never kill it.
It usually smells like yesterday's garbage. It stinks.
Save the Wave!
Support the National Corvette Museum
Support the National Corvette Museum
in Forum: Humor
SPONSOR AD: (Our Sponsors help support C3VR)