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Topic: How Everything Was Decided

in Forum: Humor


How Everything Was Decided

Posted: 6/17/11 8:20am Message 1 of 3
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Wichita, KS - USA
Joined: 11/10/2003
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Vette(s): 2005 Daytona Sunset Orange Metallic Coupe --------------------- Sold 1974 T-top, 4 spd to BillKS

How Everything Was Decided

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.  For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years.”

 

The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking.  How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”  So God agreed.

 

On the second day, God created the monkey and said.  “Entertain people.  Do tricks and make them laugh.  For this, I’ll give you a 20-year lifespan.”

 

The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for 20 years?  That’s a pretty long time to perform.  How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?”  And God agreed.

 

On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family.  For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.”

 

The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other 40?”  And God agreed again.

 

On the fourth day, God created man and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.  For this, I’ll give you 20 years.”

 
But man said, “Only 20 years?  Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back; that makes 80, okay?”

 

“Okay,” said God.  So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.  For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family.  For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.  And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

 

Life has now been explained to you.  There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.  I’m doing it as a public service. 



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How Everything Was Decided

Posted: 6/21/11 5:35pm Message 2 of 3
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York, PA - USA
Joined: 5/18/2010
Posts: 1518
Vette(s): 1969 daytona conv. all original 350 350 380 4 sp w/air..and hard top
sounds like you have the cycle of life pretty nailed down..I think monkees throw poop though..can add that to the end also.
 
Rich
 




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How Everything Was Decided

Posted: 6/22/11 10:28am Message 3 of 3
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Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
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Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/ Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight" #2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
I be sittin on da porch throwin poop AND barkin...
"Git off my laaaawn"!Angry



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in Forum: Humor


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