Idle
Thoughts Of A Retiree's Wandering Mind:

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it
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I had
amnesia once---or twice
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I went
to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
********************


Protons have mass? I didn't even know they
were Catholic.
********************


All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

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If the world were a logical
place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

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What is a "free" gift? Aren't all
gifts free?
********************

They told me I was
gullible and I believed them.
********************


Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he
grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

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Experience is the thing you have
left when everything else is gone.
********************


One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other
people.
********************

My weight is perfect for
my height--which varies.
********************

I used
to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
********************


How can there be self-help "groups"?

********************

If swimming is so good for your
figure, how do you explain whales?
********************


Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show
you a man who can't get his pants off.
********************


Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like
chicken?
********************
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER
BEEN, 

YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER
BE, 

SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE
IT LASTS