If  My Body Was a Car
    This  is just too funny - scary how true it  is!!
  
  IF  MY BODY WAS A CAR..
  If  my body was a car, this is the time I would be  thinking about trading it in for a newer model.  I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my  finish and my paint job is getting a little dull  ...
  But  that's not the worst of it.
  My  headlights are out of focus and it's especially  hard to see things up close
  My  traction is not as graceful as it once was.. I  slip and slide and skid and bump into things  even in the best of weather..
  My  whitewalls are stained with varicose  veins.
  It  takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My  fuel rate burns inefficiently.
  But  here's the worst of it --
  
  Almost  every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my  radiator leaks or my exhaust  backfires!