Topic: IF MY BODY WERE A CAR
in Forum: Humor
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Bladenboro, NC - USA
Joined: 1/22/2006
Posts: 1058
Vette(s): 1972 conv., sunfire yellow, blk interior, blk vinyl and convertible top. Off frame restoration with American Speed 383 stroker engine producing 500hp plus a 200hp NOS system. MSD ignition. Hooker super competition headers with chambered exhaust.
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is
getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things
up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was.
I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of
weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator
leaks or my exhaust backfires!
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is
getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things
up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was.
I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of
weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator
leaks or my exhaust backfires!
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Lifetime MemberDeBerry, TX - USA
Joined: 2/27/2002
Posts: 1006
Vette(s): 1971 383 Stroker- mille miglia red...5 speed
Good one! I know the voices aren't real, but they have some pretty cool ideas... 
You don't need a new one just a make over..
"I Love all Corvettes! LifeTime Member #60..Terry" 
good thing ya didn't say your nuts were coming loose and rattlin'.
1BadLT1 2007-02-10 22:53:17
ifn my were a car i would have to say i got to much junk in my trunk. and a couple of spare tires, that the carpet is worn down to nothing, hinges sag, cold starting, back firing running poor with high mileage (mostly highway)
Lifetime MemberGreensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..
Youze guys are too funny! 
in Forum: Humor
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